CURIOUS: HOW TO COPE WITH HOMOSEXUAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Reflecting on many instances where I have been a listening ear, comforter, and a pillar of strength, to parents, friends, family members, associates, and even customers, that are grief strucken, confused, fearful, and tearful, concerning a loved one that has confessed and decided to embrace the lifestyle of homosexuality; I am going to place the focus of this sermon today to others who may be in need of answers, and guidance.

Going back to my own personal childhood; I have had to deal with this situation within my own circle of trust. To begin, homosexuality is not a choice or decision that begins in the adolecscent or adult years, nor is it a choice that is given at the time of conception. Homosexuality is a personal choice that a person decides to act upon based on a variety of different influcences, and or needs, for gratification that originates from ones own curiousity, interest, or search in purpose. It is our innate design being of spirit and flesh, to be drawn to what brings us pleasure, and satisfication; and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gratified, as long as that gratification does not pervert itself. When one hears the term; pervert, they automatically perceive that term to be one that is used to degrade, demean, slander, or demoralize a person's mental state, or character. However, to pervert, actually means to take something out of content of what it was originally designed to be, or a turning away from what is morally good, true, or correct. Any time a person chooses a behavior that is the opposite of what God has called to be moral, honest, pure, holy, or righteous; they are in fact, perverting His rule of law. God is the originator of law, order, justice, love, peace, holiness, purity, and all creation so, in turn He has the only say so in how what He created is applied or used. In point to the opening statement of this paragraph; as a child, maybe around 6, 7, or 8 years old, I had a hispanic female friend around my same age, that would often ask to come spend the night with my siblings and I. As typical kids, and she and I as young girls, we would become greatly enthused, when our parents consented to the approval; however, gradually that elation began to change for me, over the course of time when ever she would visit. It is my belief that my friend was either being exposed to wrong media or pornography, within her home, or either being sexually abused by someone; who that someone was, I don't know to this day (I have no contact with this friend from the past to ask her). To say the least, she began acting out her advances, and immoral behavior towards me. I had an innocent mind; never had been exposed to any type of sexual act from media, other friends, or family members. Quickly, I knew that this wasn't something that I was interested in doing, nor was it moral in the way that it was being done. I felt sickened and disturbed, every time she would come around; although, I liked her as a friend. Eventually, the nights of staying over came to a end, because I would never agree to it again. But it didn't stop there, later, I would come to having to subdue a female relative too. Over the years, since my childhood, I have had several more friends to come along; some even married to men, that would try to invite flirtation or interest between us, but it has never been my mutual interest to enterain it. Even going out in public, there has been homosexual females that try and gain eye contact with me, but upon noticing; I make it my deliberate duty to avoid looking in their direction, signaling disengagement, and non-interest.

One may ask, "How is it that you are able to stand against what constantly comes at you, without you falling to the temptation?" My reponse is, "My God. My love, respect, and reverence for God does not allow me to fall to the temptation". Without my love and strength for Him; I could easily fall, for His Word says, and I believe, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Mark 14:38, Matthew 26:40-43). Although, my interest is in men, I acknowledge that I have been pursued not only by men, but by an unclean spirit since I was a child. I make the deliberate choice not to take interest in the curiosity that the spirit offers to me. It's no different than any other sin: stealing, lying, cursing, fornication, adultery, being quick tempered, gluttony, pornography, murder, raping, lacisviousness, gossiping, and so on. One must make a deliberate attempt to possess mind over feelings. It's one of the reasons why the brain is set above the heart; we are to think first rather than go with what we feel. For what sets in the mind, will either defile or sanctify the heart (2 Corinthians 7:1, 1 Peter 3:15). It is written that our thoughts are just as guilty as our actions, because our thoughts are what defile our hearts, that lead to our actions. When we place our thoughts above God's laws, we then commit the sin of self-idolatry. Those who are warring with the lifestyle of homosexuality are capable of denying access to the sin of homosexuality in their life. Again, it is a person's deliberate will to participate, act upon, or take interest in any behavior that is opposing to the law of God. No other entity, clean or unclean, is able to force our will upon ourselves. People seek an unmet need in their life behind difficult behaviors. When a person does not truly know God, and hold a relationship with Him, they are easily led astray to other spirits that will seduce, lure, and entice them, by giving them what they think they need, while witholding the consequences of their acceptance from them. These spirits are often Generational Spirits or what some call; Familiar Spirits (Exodus 20:5-6, Judges 3:9, 1 Samuel 12:10-11). They are spirits that are found within a persons family history, that go from one generation, to the next generation, taking souls one by one, forming groups, that are forever separated from God, eternally, upon unrepented acts. We open our families to these curses when we do not take time out to teach them about God, and pray with, and for them, but instead allowing spirits to teach them to attach themselves to the world. People have not taken notice that homosexuality is a spiritual act to destroy God's first example that is to reflect His Covenant with us; the structure of the family home. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which He is the Savior" (Ephesians 5: 22-23, 1 Corinthians 11:3). There are so many unlawful petitions for divorces in the world, with perverted governmental permission allowing them, to the point that practically no one holds marriage between a man and woman, and its covenant, no more valuable than a horse would see value in driving a car; what's the act in doing it if I can rely upon myself, and still receive similiar advantages. The marriage value is to reflect God and His covenant with the church, and to raise Godly offspring, who will not go astray (Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6) because they are shown before them in Godly example on what a unit between a man and a woman should be; not brokeness, confusion, loneliness, grief, feeling insignificant, without purpose, and guidance.

When confronting a friend or relative who have embraced homosexuality, it is important to remember; you would speak to them, love them, and treat them, just as you would any one else that was battling with any other sin. Homosexuality is not a sin that is classified in its own isolated group; all sin is equal in God's eye (James 2:10, 1 John 1:9, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Matthew 12:31, Romans 6:23, John 19:11, Galatians 5:19-21, Matthew 5:19, 1 John 5:16, 1 John 3:7, Hebrews 12:14, Jude 1:7, 1 Peter 2:17, Galatians 6:7, Romans 8:14, Revelation 3:19, Revelation 3:3). Listen to their reasons for why they feel or believe what they believe. Take the time to try and understand them, even if you don't understand. Offer to them their unmet need instead of trying to treat their symptom (they may have had something missing from their life that influenced their decision), share with them about God without judging them (no one has a way of knowing whether someone is going to be condemned in the end based on their behavior without knowing if in the end they will eventually repent), offer to them the free gift of salvation by leading them into prayer and affirmation, but do not force them to do so if they have not made that decision to do so themselves, bring to their attention that you do love or like them, but disapprove of their behavior because it is against God's law and original design, and that you would not participate in condoning their lifestyle. After all else, continue to pray for them in your private prayer time, and check in with them to see if they would accept bible study sessions with you. Allow your bible study sessions to revolve around the Bible, and not their sin (the entire gospel is to be shared). If they refuse to listen, or accept invitations to Christ in their heart; continue to pray for them, and try again at a later time, but do not treat them harshly, indifferent, or with contempt. God never forced Himself on you, but gave you the freewill to make up your own decision. The way we measure others; God too will measure us with the same judgment. Love others the way that you would want to be loved in spite of your sins. If they never come around to accepting and repenting; remember, that you cannot change others, they must want change, but you can learn to get along with anyone no matter what their difficult behavior may be based on how you respond to them.

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